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| My Hip-Hop Story: |
"I first fell in love with Hip-Hop and the power of its influence after hearing Slick Rick's
"Hey Young World". It was a rap song that I felt spoke to me since no one else was
speaking to me at a time I needed support. Next in line was LL Cool J's "I Need Love".
My teen years where a time of heartache and pain, and truly a time that I definitely
needed love.
Hip-Hop music spoke to me in a way that no one or anything else could. My family tried
to talk to me, but they were to busy with their own problems. They had a do as I say,
not as I do attitude that just wasn't working for me. There was a severe lack of
structure and guidance. There was no sincere effort to connect. As long as I was
breathing, eating, clothed, and at home at night they thought I was OK. But I wasn't.
I was basically left to raise myself, and I allowed the streets to raise me. In the
streets I felt safe, secure, and not alone. There were other teens out there who were
going through some of the same things, so we created our own families!!!!!!!!
The teachers at school said alot, but did little. The elders in the church and in the
community where helpful at times, but their attention was only temporary. Most of the
time it seemed that people were really fake and disingenuous. Nothing seemed to be a
constant in my life except the music. The music was rebellious and bold. It represented
what I saw everyday in my home (abuse and neglect), at school (overcrowding, hunger,
lost souls, lacking), and even in my community (poverty, pain, frustration). I always
wanted to hear more of what the Emcees (rappers) and DJ's had to say, because outside
of my familial and communal walls, you would not have been able to hear them and their
messages anywhere else. Like Hip-Hop icon Chuck D said, "Hip-Hop was the Black CNN
(Community News Network)". Hip-Hop let the world know that everything did not evolve
around what the Majority had to say, their issues, or their wealth. Hip-Hop was young,
new, and became a vehicle that let it be known that there was another group of people in
our society and that they too had something to say.
Yes, Hip-Hop was in me, and I became Hip-Hop. But as Hip-Hop began to make its
mark by gaining many supporters, it also gained its critics. And the critics (parents,
educators, politicians, law enforcement, etc.) were harsh. It was hard for many of them
to find something nice to say or understand why Hip-Hop was so important and valuable to
us. It was as if they wanted to keep us down and silence us. And we were continuously
being pushed down, but the further we were pushed the stronger our voices became.
Those who were doing the pushing did not understand that when one is constantly pushed
down, held down, and most of all let down - it is hard to see and find your way to the
top. And until one can find the strength and the courage to pull them self up, then
they will always be down and allow others to keep them there. I saw first hand how
when one was down, others took great satisfaction in that because it made them feel
superior, bigger, and better. It was hard for many to find their way to the top, but
those who did still have Hip-Hop in their veins, and have been catalyst in helping Hip-Hop
evolve into the powerful culture it is today.
When I finally found the strength and courage to get up from being down it was in 1992.
It was then I became an emancipated, 16 years old, pregnant minor. It was then I
began to slow down in the streets, and try to make a better life for myself and my
child. I realized that I did not want my own daughter to look for love in the streets
when she should have it and got it in her home. I stopped hustling and stayed in school.
After I graduated high school, I went to college. I also became and active volunteer
working with other adolescent parents, which has led me to the career I have today.
My love for Hip-Hop became even greater during that time because the likes of Mary J.
Blige and Tupac where actively promoted and speaking of their life struggles, issues, and
street reality. Their stories where often contradictory at times,and they were
contradictory artists. But life is like that sometimes. One day you are flying high on
love and happiness, and the next you are down, broken, sad, and blue. But it was
through Tupac's and Mary's words and attitude that I began to assert myself and find
my own way.
Also, during that time I realized that our society had a knack for creating a lot of
problems for the youth (especially youth of color) through social and political policies, then
turning their backs on them, and then blaming them as the cause of all of the problems in
the first place. I also learned that as a young person that you have to fight to prove
that you are worthy, something more than just a statistic, and that you have a right to
live. But how do you fight and prove that you are worthy, when the very adults who
were suppose to raise you, take care of you, love you, and guide you - are the very same
adults who turn their backs on you, mistreated you, broke your spirit, lied to you, and
dismantled your trust?
Slowly, with the support of few, after I had my baby and was a senior in high school, I
began to finally find some stability in my life. Hip-Hop was in me and with me all the
way. I had began to realize that I was no longer under the care or responsibility of
someone else. I was just a young mother, trying to be responsible for myself and my
child; but I vowed that I would consciously be aware of how I interacted and treated
other people. And like Hip-Hop, I became a vehicle that began to create change within
myself and in my own home, family, neighborhood, and my community. I knew that I had
to give a voice to many young people who were abused, neglected, blamed, and left to find
their own way; and that it was our responsibility, collectively, as adults and a society to
help and support them as they transition from their adolescence into adulthood. I also
made a commitment to actively inspire and create opportunities for youth and young adults
so that they can learn to pull themselves up (especially when they have no one else to
depend or count on), change their life circumstances, create their own niche in life, and
to be personally and professionally successful. It was then that I made a commitment to
Hip-Hop.
The Hip-Hop music and culture of today is very different from what it was yesterday,
and there is nothing wrong with that. I love to hear all of the Hip-Hop stories and see
what everyone has to bring to the game. It sparks discussion, creativity, as well as
opportunity. I recognize that everyone has a Hip-Hop story, and that their social,
cultural, and environmental surroundings and upbringing impacts their story. Everyone is
unique and so is their story, which is what makes Hip-Hop unique because you can hear,
relate to, grove with, and fall in love with the unique story as it is told over a tight ass
beat."
Words by Nakeyshaey M. Tillie-Allen, MS, MSW, CAPSW, CTD, CLC
The Hip-Hop Therapist ™
"Hey Young World". It was a rap song that I felt spoke to me since no one else was
speaking to me at a time I needed support. Next in line was LL Cool J's "I Need Love".
My teen years where a time of heartache and pain, and truly a time that I definitely
needed love.
Hip-Hop music spoke to me in a way that no one or anything else could. My family tried
to talk to me, but they were to busy with their own problems. They had a do as I say,
not as I do attitude that just wasn't working for me. There was a severe lack of
structure and guidance. There was no sincere effort to connect. As long as I was
breathing, eating, clothed, and at home at night they thought I was OK. But I wasn't.
I was basically left to raise myself, and I allowed the streets to raise me. In the
streets I felt safe, secure, and not alone. There were other teens out there who were
going through some of the same things, so we created our own families!!!!!!!!
The teachers at school said alot, but did little. The elders in the church and in the
community where helpful at times, but their attention was only temporary. Most of the
time it seemed that people were really fake and disingenuous. Nothing seemed to be a
constant in my life except the music. The music was rebellious and bold. It represented
what I saw everyday in my home (abuse and neglect), at school (overcrowding, hunger,
lost souls, lacking), and even in my community (poverty, pain, frustration). I always
wanted to hear more of what the Emcees (rappers) and DJ's had to say, because outside
of my familial and communal walls, you would not have been able to hear them and their
messages anywhere else. Like Hip-Hop icon Chuck D said, "Hip-Hop was the Black CNN
(Community News Network)". Hip-Hop let the world know that everything did not evolve
around what the Majority had to say, their issues, or their wealth. Hip-Hop was young,
new, and became a vehicle that let it be known that there was another group of people in
our society and that they too had something to say.
Yes, Hip-Hop was in me, and I became Hip-Hop. But as Hip-Hop began to make its
mark by gaining many supporters, it also gained its critics. And the critics (parents,
educators, politicians, law enforcement, etc.) were harsh. It was hard for many of them
to find something nice to say or understand why Hip-Hop was so important and valuable to
us. It was as if they wanted to keep us down and silence us. And we were continuously
being pushed down, but the further we were pushed the stronger our voices became.
Those who were doing the pushing did not understand that when one is constantly pushed
down, held down, and most of all let down - it is hard to see and find your way to the
top. And until one can find the strength and the courage to pull them self up, then
they will always be down and allow others to keep them there. I saw first hand how
when one was down, others took great satisfaction in that because it made them feel
superior, bigger, and better. It was hard for many to find their way to the top, but
those who did still have Hip-Hop in their veins, and have been catalyst in helping Hip-Hop
evolve into the powerful culture it is today.
When I finally found the strength and courage to get up from being down it was in 1992.
It was then I became an emancipated, 16 years old, pregnant minor. It was then I
began to slow down in the streets, and try to make a better life for myself and my
child. I realized that I did not want my own daughter to look for love in the streets
when she should have it and got it in her home. I stopped hustling and stayed in school.
After I graduated high school, I went to college. I also became and active volunteer
working with other adolescent parents, which has led me to the career I have today.
My love for Hip-Hop became even greater during that time because the likes of Mary J.
Blige and Tupac where actively promoted and speaking of their life struggles, issues, and
street reality. Their stories where often contradictory at times,and they were
contradictory artists. But life is like that sometimes. One day you are flying high on
love and happiness, and the next you are down, broken, sad, and blue. But it was
through Tupac's and Mary's words and attitude that I began to assert myself and find
my own way.
Also, during that time I realized that our society had a knack for creating a lot of
problems for the youth (especially youth of color) through social and political policies, then
turning their backs on them, and then blaming them as the cause of all of the problems in
the first place. I also learned that as a young person that you have to fight to prove
that you are worthy, something more than just a statistic, and that you have a right to
live. But how do you fight and prove that you are worthy, when the very adults who
were suppose to raise you, take care of you, love you, and guide you - are the very same
adults who turn their backs on you, mistreated you, broke your spirit, lied to you, and
dismantled your trust?
Slowly, with the support of few, after I had my baby and was a senior in high school, I
began to finally find some stability in my life. Hip-Hop was in me and with me all the
way. I had began to realize that I was no longer under the care or responsibility of
someone else. I was just a young mother, trying to be responsible for myself and my
child; but I vowed that I would consciously be aware of how I interacted and treated
other people. And like Hip-Hop, I became a vehicle that began to create change within
myself and in my own home, family, neighborhood, and my community. I knew that I had
to give a voice to many young people who were abused, neglected, blamed, and left to find
their own way; and that it was our responsibility, collectively, as adults and a society to
help and support them as they transition from their adolescence into adulthood. I also
made a commitment to actively inspire and create opportunities for youth and young adults
so that they can learn to pull themselves up (especially when they have no one else to
depend or count on), change their life circumstances, create their own niche in life, and
to be personally and professionally successful. It was then that I made a commitment to
Hip-Hop.
The Hip-Hop music and culture of today is very different from what it was yesterday,
and there is nothing wrong with that. I love to hear all of the Hip-Hop stories and see
what everyone has to bring to the game. It sparks discussion, creativity, as well as
opportunity. I recognize that everyone has a Hip-Hop story, and that their social,
cultural, and environmental surroundings and upbringing impacts their story. Everyone is
unique and so is their story, which is what makes Hip-Hop unique because you can hear,
relate to, grove with, and fall in love with the unique story as it is told over a tight ass
beat."
Words by Nakeyshaey M. Tillie-Allen, MS, MSW, CAPSW, CTD, CLC
The Hip-Hop Therapist ™
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| You can learn more about Nakeyshaey at www.nakeyshaeytillie-allen.com |